Home

I'm home. Well, sorta. Westminster Woods was an amazing place, and a really awesome chance to get some rest, build some relationships, and hang with some really awesome folks. The theme for the week was "No Matter What," and each day was a different "No Matter What" statement - no matter what GOD loves you, no matter what, GOD gives a second chance, no matter what, love one another, and some other really cool ones that I can't remember. I had the chance to hang around the Junior High camp and listen in on the talks, and that was the bomb.

And I'm home from China. I can't say how weird that feels - it took my body a week to get used to it. I'm still trying to form my thoughts and memories on my experience, but one of the most poignant memories that I have of the whole trip is that first big gulp of California air I took after we landed at SFO. I can't tell you the way that I felt when that smell ran through my nasal cavity, but I didn't realize how different the air in China was.

The Chinese province that we were in, the Henan province, had nearly the poorest air quality out of all of China. You don't really get to see the sky too often, because it's constantly obscured by a gray haze. One of the foreign teachers told us that if we left out a sandwich in our room for a day or two, it would be covered with a fine layer of gray dust. Most of the vehicles on the roads spew thick black smoke from their tailpipes - definitely wouldn't pass a smog check. The dumplings, the trees, the people, the buildings, the books - it just smelled different. Not in a bad way at all - I didn't really mind the smog. There was just a piece of me that took in all of those new things and said, "I'm not at home."

I noticed the change immediately when we landed in Beijing, but after a few days I didn't even notice anymore. But when that plane landed and I stepped off, the smell of redwoods, dirt, and a bunch of other stuff I can't describe filled my lungs, and that was when it hit me: I was home.

My earthly home, anyway. Because even though I had returned from an unfamiliar place to a familiar one, I know that though I am now called to be in the world, but not of it, soon I will be not in the world too, and then I will truly be home. I thank GOD (not nearly enough) for a place to sleep every night, a roof over my head, and loving family and friends, but I know that this "home" here couldn't hold a candle to the eternal house of GOD. If home is where the heart is, mine is surely in heaven, because GOD has captured it with his amazing love. But I'm not there yet, and I'm thankful for every moment I've got - it's good to be home.

When I get to heaven, I wonder what it will smell like. I can only imagine.

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now
(MercyMe, Homesick)

P.S. Blogger has recently made it really easy to include pictures in posts, so I'll probably be using more of them.